In mindfulness practice, we often notice the particulars of an experience that we are observing, and we may not consciously recognize that beautiful mental qualities such as kindness and balance of mind are being cultivated. The practice of mindfulness cultivates a non-reactive attention to whatever happens to us, be it pleasant, unpleasant or neutral. When our minds are neither for nor against experience, there can be a natural openness, curiosity, and a kind and balanced attention that meet any experience. Recognizing that these beautiful mental qualities are present actually further supports their cultivation.
Archive | Reflections on Practice
Compassion Essence
The very starting point of spiritual practice is empathy, sensing the pain and vulnerability of others. We have a stunning insight that we can cause harm and that it is extremely important for us to bring our aggression under control. The moment we become willing to sacrifice something of ourselves for the comfort and safety of others, we become “a person who can be tamed by Dharma practice.” Consider this: our resolve to refrain from harming is the urge to gain mastery over our minds and the determination to tame impulsive, destructive moods. What a powerful karmic moment this is! From this intention arises our ethical discipline. When we feel pushed to react negatively it is a signal that we must take hold of something inwardly to check that harmful urge.
A mind is not an easy thing to train, however. Part of the work of mindfulness is to bring to mind what is wholesome and to promote it, and to remind us of what is unwholesome and to remove it. So we practice to observe and reflect again and again on the fact that unwholesome actions bring pain and wholesome actions bring self-respect and peace of mind, in order to become certain of this in our hearts. Skill in the art of restraint saves us from being inflamed by self-blame and establishes us in the firm footing in self-respect. This kind of self-respect is like a bright ornament that beautifies us and brings a special joy and delight. All of these qualities make the mind soft and receptive to truth, and we come to understand that compassion is both the beginning and the essence of the spiritual path.
Controlling Anger
“Conquer the angry by loving-kindness; conquer the wicked by
goodness; conquer the stingy by generosity, and the liar by
speaking the truth.” (Dhammapada, verse 223)
As human beings we are likely to experience anger on occasion. What to do with it? First, try to be mindful of it’s arising, it’s occurrence, and it’s dissolution. Furthermore, try to know the conditions that lead to it’s arising, such as seeing an undesirable animate or inanimate object. Be aware of the seeing (hearing, smelling etc.) process and pay attention to how this generates disliking in the mind. In the absence of mindfulness disliking can easily turn into anger. Notice what kind of objects frequently lead to the arising of anger and watch your reactions around those objects.
More important than knowing which object triggers anger is to watch the mind in a detached manner when it is in an ‘angry mode.’ The problem is less the object than the anger itself. Pay close attention to the qualities of the angry mind, such as its boiling, non-peaceful, ferocious, revengeful nature. An angry mind is agitated, tense, and
tormenting. Be aware of the justification of one’s own anger. Ultimately, anger is never justified. Watch how the anger easily spreads, gains momentum, and gets out of control.
Pay attention to how quickly this can happen. Anger may manifest in many different ways, such as aversion, irritation, feeling grouchy, disliking, getting upset, going into a rage, blowing up, and giving some one the silent treatment. You might also watch for the manifestations of anger in the body such as tension building up, the heart pounding, the face turning red, and sweat forming.
Never act out of anger. Let the anger first subside and then act. Acting out of anger is dangerous for the other person but first of all for yourself. Before harming another person the anger present in one’s own mind is already tormenting one’s own mind. Regular loving kindness meditation will help to weaken anger and smooth relations with ‘difficult‘ people. When anger comes up radiate loving kindness (metta) to yourself and others. Schedule a metta session for one or two hours at home. Loving-kindness meditation can bring about miracle changes when relating to a ‘difficult‘ person. The proximate cause of loving-kindness is seeing the good points in others rather than focusing, as we often do, on the flaws or shortcomings of others.
Aspiration
Some time before the Buddha was about to die, he gave his disciples a word of encouragement and advice. He said this – and I’m putting it into my own words: “Freedom
from suffering is available to you if you practice by the proper means of mindfulness, but not without having the aspiration to learn and that will bring freedom.”
Like any undertaking in the world, it is helpful to know why we are doing it. For example, if we exercise we know what our purpose is – to get fit. That is our aspiration. Similarly with our dharma practice. Aspiration is the wholesome wish to free ourselves from suffering by diminishing the unwholesome and strengthening the wholesome qualities of mind. This is our purpose in the dharma.
The downfall comes when we misunderstand this word to mean striving and grasping for freedom. This is not aspiration, but the unwholesome aspect of craving, the very source of suffering. Notice the tightness and contractedness in the body when there is craving and how open hearted, light and uplifted the body feels when there is genuine aspiration.
Many of us live busy lives out in the world. We have families, jobs, homes to tend and sometimes we can begin to feel that we have lost touch with the dharma or that we “should” be doing something else to realize our aspiration. Right here we can remind ourselves that our job is to do what the teachings require of us, working with mindfulness in this moment. Anything more than sincerely doing the practice is a hindrance to it’s unfolding. The wondering when, if, how soon and what else we can do to speed up the process – this is all worry and agitation.
So we put it down, relax and simply do the practice right here, there isn’t anywhere else to do it. When we have this deep aspiration for freedom we find the willingness to bring mindfulness to all situations, using what life has offered us as a path to awakening – to stretch and train the heart not to react, but to slowly come to understand what our human existence is all about.
Finding True Freedom
One of the hardest things for us to learn in meditation is that our practice is not about having certain kinds of experiences. The path is not just about having good feelings or attaining some kind of special, blissful state. It’s actually not about having any particular experience at all. Sometimes of course, we do have powerful experiences in meditation. They may bring energy, inspiration, and serve to bolster our faith. We feel like something is happening, that the practice is “working”. And, ultimately, the path is about freedom in any moment regardless of what’s happening in our experience.
True freedom is not about having things be a certain way but about non-clinging in the moment to any state or experience. If we make freedom dependent on having special experiences or achieving some sublime state, we’ll never find a true happiness or freedom because these states don’t last. Conditions are always changing, and when conditions change, we’re back where we started. There’s no real freedom there. Freedom is to be found in our relationship to experience no matter what might be happening in the moment.
We often come to practice with some kind of an agenda, something we want to work on or fix in our lives. We want to get something out of it, something to show for our efforts. Perhaps we’re hoping to find some ease in the face of life’s inevitable ups and downs. Maybe we want to get enlightened. At times we may feel frustrated or dissatisfied: we’re not getting anywhere; we haven’t gotten any calmer or more peaceful. We fall into evaluating, assessing and judging our practice, looking for evidence of progress. Am I doing it right? Am I getting it? Everyone else seems to be getting it. We judge our experience & then judge ourselves based on our perception of that experience. If we notice this happening, a very useful question to ask is: how am I relating to this experience?
It’s also useful to remind ourselves that whatever value we might get from meditation will be the result of what we let go of, abandon, and relinquish. We realize the end of suffering by abandoning the cause of suffering, not by getting to some sublime state of mind – not by getting anything at all.
The Conceit of Self
One of the most prevalent and pervasive ways that the deeply rooted habit of conceit, the ‘conceit of self’, binds us and is perpetuated is through the comparing mind. What a great gift it is to ourself to wake up to seeing that the process of comparing oneself with others perpetuates one’s learned feeling of being deficient or inadequate, or the learned self identification of being better than or the very best. It’s then that we begin to understand one of the primary reasons that we live with an underlying or not so underlying feeling of uncertainty, tension and stress.
The ‘conceit of self’ is what usurps the vitality and power of being fully present, blocking mindful awareness of simply and clearly being with what is. With ‘conceit’ we separate ourself – set ourself apart which is an endlessly unsatisfying and painful experience and a major source of suffering in this human realm.
Another way that ‘conceit of self’ may show up in our practice is that often one’s idea of what it means to be really honest with ourself about ourself, is understood as admitting our weaknesses, faults, and all the unskillful ‘bad’ things we’ve done. This is another facet of the ‘conceit of self’. Identifying and dwelling in this negative idea and image of who we think we are is how guilt, sorrow and anguish are nurtured.
The Buddha instructs us to recognize, acknowledge and rejoice in our healthy humanbeingness through reflecting on ways we’ve been of service and cared for others and on the choices we’ve made that have been absolutely appropriate and wise at any given time. We can reflect on and rejoice in the times when our mind/our heart has been clearly present and connected, emanating loving-kindness, compassion and joy in relationship to others. And we can of course rejoice in the fact that we’ve had the great good fortune to connect with the teaching and practices of the Buddha and are practicing!
Taking the Buddha’s instruction to heart by rejoicing in oneself isn’t a call for arrogance or self-centeredness, but rather just the simple recognition and acknowledgment of our goodness, success, and compassionate heart. To be able to rejoice in ourself is essential, not in a prideful or conceited way, but as a means of generating the self respect, love, confidence, joy and sense of well-being that is fundamental and natural for the cultivation of the wholesome mind and heart which are vital for our practice to deepen and blossom.
Until we are liberated/awakened…in the Buddha’s words: “tis the self by which we suffer”.
Attitude Toward Practice
“A good question to ask yourself now and then is: How am I holding my practice? What is my attitude, my frame of mind in relation to my practice?
It is essential to be relaxed and in the right frame of mind in relation to your practice. Everything else blossoms out of this. Holding your practice with the ‘right attitude’ means that you acknowledge, accept, observe, and bring mindfulness to whatever is happening, whether pleasant or unpleasant, in a relaxed and alert way. It’s vital to check in with yourself to see whether you are in the right frame of mind or not, which is even more important than experiencing peaceful states or having a ‘good sit’. The particular object of attention in your meditation is not really the most important aspect of your practice. Of prime importance is the observing mind working in the background to be mindful of whatever the experience is in the moment. If observation and mindfulness are done with the right attitude, any object is the right object. It’s important to know when you have the right frame of mind– but it’s equally important to recognize and mindfully investigate your wrong attitudes to see how they affect your practice and how you feel in the midst of these attitudes.
On Recognizing the Feeling of Awareness
As we engage in a daily life practice, it is helpful to become familiar with what it feels like to be mindful and present. At times throughout our day, we come into mindfulness; it happens spontaneously, effortlessly, for just a moment. This actually happens to us more than we realize, but it’s like the air we breathe: we don’t notice it. Typically we get a split second of knowing what is happening, and then we start thinking about what we noticed, or planning about it, or remembering something we did yesterday that was similar to what we’re doing now. We usually simply use awareness to navigate our lives. We have an experience: the water is hot, we know it is hot, and we jerk our hand out. We notice a stain the linoleum, so we go down to clean it. We use the recognition of what is going on to plan, to further our lives. We rarely recognize the quality of
mindfulness itself.
While the feeling of knowing that you are aware can seem like a subtle feeling, actually, it is a feeling that is very familiar to us, but we rarely pay attention to the feeling. If you know that you are reading this article, then the feeling of awareness is there in your experience. Don’t look too hard for it. Just explore how your experience feels when you know that you are aware. Over time, you will begin to recognize the feeling of awareness. As you become familiar with this feeling, you will notice yourself coming back into mindfulness many, many times throughout the day. In the midst of an activity, you will suddenly recognize that you are aware of what is happening. You might be reaching for something, walking across the street, finishing a meal, or driving the car. Appreciating these moments creates the conditions for you to recognize these moments even more frequently.
The Four Noble Truths
Of course, it’s true that mindfulness holds the presently arising moment with an attitude of non-judgment. In order to learn we have to bear with undesirable experience without condemning— and desirable experience without becoming fixated. Condemnation and fixation are kinds of judgments we make about what is worth experiencing.
The path of practice is not merely non-judgment. Mindfulness has a view. Right view guides mindfulness. This means there is discernment regarding what is dukkha, where it comes from, and how to escape from its oppression. There is a simile from The Questions of King Milinda, “Grasping a handful of barley in the left hand and a sickle in the right, the reapers cut the barley. Even so does one who is devoted to mental training take hold of the mind with wise attention and cut off the defilements with wisdom.”
Throughout the entirety of our lives we continue to review and refine our practice in the light of the Four Noble Truths. Those with an excellent understanding of these truths are likewise possessed of unhesitating energy, resolve, and fearlessness in the face of the sufferings of the world.
Equanimity
Upekkha in the Pali spiritual language (the language that the Buddha’s original teachings were first transcribed into) is a powerful force in our practice, a powerful force in the whole of our life. It manifests as the equipoise, the balance or equilibrium between the opposing forces in the mind of the desired and the undesired. The equipoise of equanimity offsets the weightiness of greed and aversion. It’s that point of balance in the middle of the see-saw of life.
As Equanimity blossoms it shows up in our practice and our lives as fearlessness, great strength, and ease within the mind and heart, keeping us balanced and impartial in the midst of it all.
As awakening beings, one way you can practice this essential quality of mind/heart is as one of the Brahma Viharas/Divine Abidings. The classical Theravada phrase used in this form of Equanimity practice is this:
‘I am/you are the heir or owner of my/your karma (my/your ‘deeds’ of thought, speech, and bodily actions). My/your happiness or suffering depends upon my/your actions (of thought, speech, and body), not upon my wishes.’
As it is done in the Brahma Vihara practice, one silently repeats this phrase over and over to oneself, staying very present and mindfully aware, but not getting caught or seduced into the stories that may show up. After directing the phrase to yourself for a few days, you can then slowly over time begin to bring in other individuals, such as someone who has been of benefit to you in your life, a dear friend, a family member, and even a difficult person. As we go on with this practice a very natural reflection and understanding will begin to blossom, not through discursive thought but simply through the process of the practice itself and your growing trust in its power.
You might consider trying this practice for 10 or 15 minutes each day keeping an open mind and heart towards the process and its fruits.